The First Guy

The First Guy To Ever Commit A Crime

Why can't I just take anything I want though?

The First Guy To Ever Write Fiction

Here's a thing that I imagined happened and now we can all pretend like it did!

The First Guy To Ever Have A Name

Hey person, what's your sound?

The First Guy To Ever Be A Toxic Fan

Heyyyyyy I like that noise you made.

The First Guy To Ever Own A Cat

This video is about a cat, and there is a cat in the video.

The First Guy To Ever Punch Someone

He who does the painful hand thing holds the ultimate power.

The First Guy To Ever Clean Himself

I'm gonna smell like flowers.

The First Guy To Ever Be An Artist

Hey good news I moved a bunch of colours around on some paper and now it kind of looks like you.

The First Guy To Ever Make A Commercial

The First Guy To Ever Wear A Costume

It's fun to pretend like you're not yourself for a little bit!

The First Guy To Ever Dream

I hallucinated about you while I was asleep and now I'm mad at you.

The First Guy To Ever Celebrate Christmas

Christmas is the great time of year when an old man breaks in and leaves you stuff because it's someone's birthday (but

The First Guy To Ever Kidnap Someone

The First Guy To Ever Open A Restaurant

Come on in and be restored! A stranger will prepare a meal for you. Do not interact with this stranger.

The First Guy To Ever Hold Up A Lighter At A Concert

Ever wonder who started the tradition of raising lighters and cellphones at concerts? It was this guy. So there, now you

The First Guy To Ever Make A Friend

Hi there hello good news I have chosen you as a person that I want to hang out with and warn when large animals are near

The First Guy To Ever Have A Home

Please don't come in here. Cabin in thumbnail photographed by Zachary DeBottis at Pexels!

The First Guy To Ever Swim

It's summer and I love floating at the top of the drinking stuff.

The First Guy To Ever Play Tag

Tag is weird. It's a weird game.

The First Guy To Ever Get Drunk

Good news I found my super old berries, they tasted like fire.

The First Guy To Ever Get Ripped

Look at all my bulges.

The First Couple To Ever Get Married

Sketch written by: Julie Nolke & Ryan George

The First Couple To Ever Get Divorced

Sketch written by: Julie Nolke & Ryan George

The First Guy To Ever Celebrate A Birthday

Let's get fire involved.

The First Guy To Ever Rob A Bank

Give me people's money.

The First Guy To Ever Be King

I guess I own everything.

The First Guy To Ever Eat Dessert

The meal is not done.

The First Guy To Ever Go Camping

Let's sleep where the bears live.

The First Guy To Ever Open A Zoo

I arrested a penguin.

The First Guy To Ever Open A School

I'm gonna lecture your kids.

The First Guy To Ever Wear Contact Lenses

The lenses go where? PSA: The chart in back says "HI THERE HELLO" and not "HIT HER" 🤦 I went too hard on the blur ef

The First Guy To Ever Break An Arm

It bends that way now it decided.

The First Guy To Ever Open A Hotel

Sleep in my bed.

The First Guy To Ever Reach A Million Subscribers

Big thanks to everyone who has watched my videos and pressed the button so far! ❤

The First Guy To Ever Play Duck, Duck, Goose

In Minnesota they're going to call this game Duck Duck Gray Duck, I decided.

The First Guy To Ever Climb A Mountain

Maybe I won't die.

The First Guy To Ever Go To Prison

Why can't I leave?

The First Guy To Ever Order Food Delivery

Bring me the food. Now.

The First Guy To Ever Sell Insurance

Something awful could happen.

The First Guy To Ever Feel An Earthquake

Whoa whoa whoa whoa hey everything's vibrating now.

The First Guy To Ever Be A Sports Mascot

I could dress up like an animal.

The First Guy To Ever Hire An Assassin

You see that guy over there standing there all stupid and ugly and dumb and stupid.

The First Guy To Ever Shoplift

I'm taking this.

The First Guy To Ever Graduate

Now what?

The First Guy To Ever Be A Motivational Speaker

Don't. Ever. Sleep.

The First Guy To Ever Solve A Crime

Okay wait. Who did this?

The First Guy To Ever Order Drive-Thru

I'm not getting out.

The First Guy To Ever Build A Snowman

Looks like a real person.

The First Guy To Ever Be An Actor

Let's pretend I'm not me.

The First Guy To Ever Win An Award

Thanks for the shiny object.

The First Guy To Ever Be A Pro Fighter

I'm very good at punching.

The First Guy To Ever Make A Puzzle

Now put it back together!

The First Guy To Ever Host A Party

Bring your own beer.

The First Guy To Ever Be A Chiropractor

I will crack you.

The First Guy To Ever Open A Bar

Want some poison?

The First Couple To Ever Move In Together

Sketch written by: Julie Nolke & Ryan George

The First Couple To Have A Baby

Sketch written by: Julie Nolke & Ryan George

The First Guy To Ever Go To The Beach

There's sand inside me.

The First Guy To Ever Be A Bodyguard

I will punch you.

The First Guy To Ever Own A Dog

I got us a new furry roommate.

The First Guy To Ever Be A Firefighter

Look pretty hot.

The First Guy To Ever Work In An Office

Let's work in tiny cubes.

The First Guy To Ever Scuba Dive

Maybe we won't drown.

The First Guy To Ever Go Fishing

I will outsmart a fish.

The First Guy To Ever Work In Retail

The customer is always right.

The First Guy To Ever Be A Bullfighter

I'm extremely strong and I love grass.

The First Guy To Ever Drink Milk

Alright so after years of you guys asking for this video I finally caved!

The First Guy To Ever Open A Buffet

Now you listen to me, I want the option to just take whatever I want.

The First Guy To Ever Vandalize

The world's my playground I decided.

The First Guy To Ever Report The News

Bad stuff!

The First Guy To Ever Discover Laxatives

Something is happening.

The First Guy To Ever Drive A Taxi

Get in the car.

The First Guy To Ever Use Figures Of Speech

I could eat a horse.

The First Guy To Ever Take A Hostage

This is a very tense moment.

The First Guy To Ever Get Fired

You're setting me on fire?

The First Guy To Ever Own A Bird

Why did you arrest that bird?

The First Guy To Ever Be Superstitious

I guess I can't take this hat off anymore.

The First Guy To Ever Quit His Job

I'm not gonna do that.

The First Guy To Ever Trick or Treat

How am I supposed to get candy now?

The First Guy To Ever High Five

Slap my hand with your hand.

The First Guy To Ever Make A New Year's Resolution

New year new me

The First Guy To Ever Open A Nightclub

You've heard of bars, haven't ya!?

The First Guy To Ever Eat An Egg

You know the things that chickens poop out?

The First Guy To Ever Ride A Horse

Why are you sitting on that giant animal?

The First Guy To Ever Scam Someone

Can I have the thing?

The First Guy To Ever Skydive

I'm thinkin' I'm gonna jump!

The First Guy To Ever Order Fast Food

I wanna be outta here with food in minutes.

The First Guy To Ever Jog

My muscles are screaming at me.

The First Guy To Ever Be A Spy

You pay me and I look at people.

The First Guy To Ever Do Taxidermy

The First Guy To Ever Dance

The First Guy To Ever Drink Coffee

The First Toilet Paper Commercial

The First Guy To Say 'Bless You' After A Sneeze

The First Guy To Ever Measure Time

The First Guy To Ever Be A Coach

The First Guy To Ever Swear