Seasons & Episodes
Pilot
Young Patrick dreams of earning his knighthood and dispensing justice to evildoers. He’s driven by his goodhearted, ea
Hot Tub Death Machine
Patrick’s excitement to start his new squire job is quickly dampened when he is placed in charge of deciding who to ex
What’s Kraken?
When Patrick scores highly coveted tickets to a Kraken watching cruise for his parents, he sees an opportunity to impres
In the Line of Squire
As a string of high-profile assassinations rock the kingdom, the headstrong and petulant Princess Blossom returns home f
Let Them Eat Clown
Patrick is thrilled to escort King Merriman to a charity golf retreat, only to arrive and find out it’s actually the C
My Super Sweet Period Party
As the only uncut squire, Patrick is horrified to learn that he will need to undergo a circumcision to keep his job. Mea
Look Who’s Stalking
Fed up with a string of bad investments that have led the kingdom to bankruptcy, King Merriman throws out a pot of “ma
The Snow Job
When a deadly plague sweeps through the Kingdom, Patrick accompanies the royal family north to stay safe, isolated in an
The A-Moooo-Zing Race
The assassin has orchestrated the kidnapping of Princess Blossom, and a Minotaur holds her captive in its maze. Now the
Unchained Monarchy
Patrick returns to the castle with the rescued Princess Blossom only to find it under siege. The minotaur maze was only
Shamrock Shakedown
Patrick finds himself on trial for betraying the kingdom, and only avoids punishment with a Hail Mary promise to the kin
Toxic Femininity
A drug epidemic at Blossom’s all-girls academy threatens to derail the king and queen’s scheme to draw attention to
Destination: Wedding
The wedding of the year brings Merriman a chance to mend fences with King Rami IV, whose son is arranged to marry Holden
Good Vibrations
When Queen Tulip slips into a sex-toy-induced coma, King Merriman throws a beauty pageant to replace her. Patrick feels
Get Your Minchachas Out
On an island training retreat, Patrick and the squires meet the most famous knight in the kingdom, but Patrick quickly d
Tent Pitching
The circus returns to the kingdom, much to the king’s delight. Blarney is reunited with his uppity clown college class
Nothin, Usurp With U?
The kingdom adjusts to life under its new (old) king, the Old King, who is back on the throne thanks to Danielle’s mac
Sad-iator
As punishment for his refusal to turn in King Merriman, Patrick finds himself sentenced to fight in the arena as a gladi
Knight of the F**king Dead
Merriman and Tulip are back just in time for the annual Hallowtide party. Patrick is tasked with chaperoning Princess Bl
Hard Day’s Knight
After months of the kingdom depleting the jewel mines underground, the Mole People finally lash out at the surface-dwell
